Burlesque Superstar
Tali De' Mar
by Maya Cherry
Xtreme: Hi Tali! Welcome to Connecticut.
Tali De Mar: Thank you!
Xtreme: Tell me about yourself.
Tali De Mar: Okay! I actually grew up here on the East Coast, in Pennsylvania. I was in New York City for a long time, which is where I got into burlesque. That’s where I really learned about it, and I felt really drawn to it, like maybe I lived in that time once upon a time. I live in Hollywood now, Los Angeles, but I’m hardly ever there because I travel constantly. A friend of mine who does the same thing I do asked me, “Do you realize we’re only home for 72 hours a week?” When you put it that way, I should have prorated rent!
Xtreme: So what made you take the plunge into burlesque?
Tali De Mar: Well, I have a friend who is a burlesque artist, and I went to one of her shows - she does more modern burlesque - and I really liked it. It’s a throwback, of course, to the very first kind of stripping in a completely different environment. People are there to specifically see burlesque. In real burlesque, the pasties stay on. What I’m doing here I call “adapted strip club burlesque”. It is newer for me to be doing it this way. I’ve been traveling as a feature burlesque artist for a year in a half, but I usually do burlesque venues so this is a little different to dance in a strip club.
Xtreme: For those of us who don’t know, can you please explain the difference between your average exotic dancing and burlesque?
Tali De Mar: Absolutely! Basically, burlesque is the very first form of stripping. It was very popular in the 1920s, 1930s and 1940s, all the way up to the late 1950s. Strip clubs didn’t exist yet; the performers danced in a theatre. There was no interaction, for one thing, there was theatre seating, there were no poles and obviously no lapdances either. A good performance is about curiosity, glamour and beauty. The main thing about burlesque is that it’s about sensuality, not sexuality. There’s no floor work. It’s about keeping a little bit to the imagination and not showing everything. Pasties and a G-string were as far as you went. Girls doing a real fan dance were usually nude, and you know that, but you can’t see it. It drives people crazy. But burlesque theatres started getting shut down and being turned into bars, and then came modern-day strip clubs. Burlesque is making a comeback in recent years though. People miss that, all the sensuality, not having everything in your face, and it’s good entertainment. I think people are drawn to that. Those are what I would say are the main differences.
Xtreme: Also, originally when you would see a burlesque performance, wouldn’t it be in the context of other vaudeville performances?
Tali De Mar: Exactly. That’s a great point as well. Burlesque by definition is not actually dancing. Burlesque has comedians, it has - like you said - vaudeville performers, it’s a real variety, and that’s how it started. Then they said, “Hey, maybe if we have naked girls...”
Xtreme: It never takes them too long to come up with that, right?
Tali De Mar: [laughs] Exactly! And it worked.
Xtreme: It sounds like you’re more used to dancing in a strip club now than you had been, but initially what would you say were the biggest challenges you faced coming to dance in one?
Tali De Mar: I was really torn in the beginning and apprehensive like, “Okay, should I do this?” Strip clubs are funny places to be. Look at what it really is; it’s pretty silly, but it’s all in good fun. One of my concerns in the beginning was taking off the pasties because people in the burlesque community frown down on that. People don’t realize that a lot of the really big burlesque artists out there, like Dita Von Teese and Catherine D’lish, were all features. They were all strippers in real strip clubs, and that’s what made me feel more comfortable. But the games, it took me a while to break down and play the stripper games. But people like them, and they get more interaction that way, and you make more money doing it.
Xtreme: Do you like having that much more audience interaction than you would at a burlesque club?
Tali De Mar: Absolutely. I think it’s fun. You get that close eye contact, and you can mess with them a little bit. You know, steal their glasses or tease them a little. It’s much more intimate than being on a big, huge stage.
Xtreme: When are you more nervous? Do you still get nervous?
Tali De Mar: No, I don’t! It’s funny. In real life I’m a little more shy, a little more laidback. But on stage, I’m not shy at all. When someone I know comes to see me, I get really nervous. That’s what makes me nervous. There could be hundreds and hundreds of complete strangers, but one person I know would make me very nervous!
Xtreme: I’m glad you mentioned Dita because she’s obviously the one burlesque dancer with whom your average person would probably be familiar. Between her and places like Forty Deuce in Las Vegas, burlesque, like you said, is definitely making a comeback. What is it about burlesque that people like?
Tali De Mar: The entertainment factor. It’s a real show. People want to look at beautiful girls in beautiful costumes, and they want us to tell a story.
Xtreme: One thing I love about burlesque dancers is that their bodies are always so curvaceous and sexy. Do you think burlesque dancers are held to a different standard of body type than strippers?
Tali De Mar: Burlesque dancers come in many different shapes and sizes and that’s the best part about us. A lot of the dancers are not thin girls. They’re curvy and, sometimes, really curvy.
Xtreme: No kidding. You’re so curvy and you have the tiniest waist in the world!
Tali De Mar: [laughs] Thank you! I’m actually on the skinny side. I did a huge tour in Mexico and lost some weight after I became sick. But I prefer to be a little more curvy. I like being more curvy than I am right now. Burlesque artists are definitely not held to the same standard as a porn star or a Vegas showgirl or a conventional stripper in a club, and that’s the beauty of it. Most girls are not all the same, and not all men like that one body type. I know a lot of men who love a bigger girl, and they go to see the bigger girl in the burlesque show because they can’t see that anywhere else. And, you know, they’ve got personality. A lot of my favorite artists are the bigger ones.
Xtreme: Obviously burlesque is so sexy. Do you ever incorporate your skills into
the bedroom?
Tali De Mar: That’s really funny. An ex-boyfriend wanted me to do a striptease but I was so shy. It’s so different for me on stage. On stage it’s a show, but in real life... it’s a little different.
Xtreme: When you feature in a strip club, what reaction do you get from the
other dancers?
Tali De Mar: A lot of girls come up to me and are like, “That’s so sexy, it’s so beautiful,” or they’ll ask me where I got my costume, or how they can learn how to do it. I mean, if you think about it, the girls are in the club night after night, once a month they’ll get a feature, and it’s pretty much always the same thing. So they get excited when there’s something entertaining to them too.
Xtreme: It’s fantastic to see something different, that’s for sure! Being that you are indeed new and different to most strip club patrons, how would you say most men generally react to you and what you do at first glance? Men are so accustomed now to the filthiest porn in the world where the girls just give it all away and absolutely nothing is left to the imagination, and what you do is the opposite of that.
Tali De Mar: Every now and then you have those guys who want to see it all, but most guys respond really well to what I do. When I put a show together, I put together something that’s almost like a dream girl, a fantasy woman, with the stockings and the heels and the garter and the corsets. You don’t really see that very often, and that’s how I feel sexy, and men appreciate that. Their wife or girlfriend isn’t strolling into the bedroom wearing a rhinestone corset and fishnet stockings, let alone the tassels and pasties. Sometimes guys don’t really like it, but for the most part, it’s a pretty good fantasy, the dream-girl image. It draws a lot of men in.
Xtreme: Speaking of the fantasy, I always see photos of Dita out and about, you know, doing her grocery shopping while she’s dressed to the nines in burlesque era-appropriate garb. Would you say you pretty much do the same thing?
Tali De Mar: You know, I do for the most part. I have a lot of different sides to myself. Sometimes I’ll just wear my hair down, long and straight, or I’ll put some flowers in it, or curl it like a pinup. But just running to the grocery store... well, I do only own one pair of shoes that aren’t heels, but I’ll occasionally throw on a pair of jeans.
Xtreme: So you go from strip club to strip club, looking absolutely stunning, and barely take off all your clothes. I would have to imagine that you are propositioned to do porn all the time. What is your reason for not doing it?
Tali De Mar: I have definitely been approached, many times over the years. I never even went to a strip club until about a year and a half ago when I started featuring, and there’s nothing wrong with it. I have a lot of stripper friends and some porn star friends, and that’s great for them. But like I said, I have a shyness to me, and I find sex to be intensely personal. I don’t want to do it on camera and I don’t want people to be watching me. It’s just not my thing. I just kind of like to be a lady and keep things to myself. But there’s nothing wrong with it. They’re fine with it, I’m fine with it.
Xtreme: What makes a woman sexy?
Tali De Mar: Attitude. Confidence. It has nothing to do with looks at all. How she treats other people. A girl can be absolutely gorgeous, but if she is mean, the ugliness will come out of her. Personality, too. I think that’s sexy.
Xtreme: What are your career goals?
Tali De Mar: I have a lot of goals. I plan to keep doing the burlesque performances. I sing as well, and I’ve been working on some records lately, and I’ll be doing some music videos for those too. And I’ve been doing so many photo shoots, which are all on my website. I’ve been doing some modeling for Playboy as well. This goes back to my having a lot of looks. I have my pinup look, and I have my Playboy look, and they’re completely different. And I would really like to have a lingerie line.
Xtreme: Is your official website, TaliDeMar.com, the best place to get in touch
with you?
Tali De Mar: Absolutely. My Facebook fan page is good too; I keep it really updated with my schedule. For feature dancing appearances, I’m through Jim at the Pure Talent Agency.
Xtreme: And where would you suggest someone go if they were interested in learning more about the art of burlesque?
Tali De Mar: Watch old movies, do your research. Dita Von Teese put out a great book, “Burlesque and the Art of the Teese.” Just look around out there. Unfortunately, not everybody lives in a big city where burlesque is actually happening, but at least around here is New York City. Just go looking for it.
Xtreme: Sounds good. Tali, thank you so much for chatting with me tonight.
Tali De Mar: Any time, Maya! Thank you.
